December 8, 2011.... I lost my Dad. We fought hard for 2 long years but the cancer beast won the fight! God was screaming his name and he went home. I am thankful that we were able to get him home on hospice the day that he died. He had been in the hospital for 2 days prior to his passing and my sister and I knew that he wanted more then anything to be at home, with his family when he passed.
So with my sister and I, and many other family members by his side, he passed away at home at 3:28pm.
The days that followed were so very hard... Burying my Dad, was one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do. But I was determined to follow through with all his final wishes, so with my awesome husband and family by my side, I struggled through the funeral and burial of the first man I ever loved, My Daddy!
In his casket we placed photos of his short 58 years here on earth, his favorite baseball cap sporting the Harley Davidson symbol, his badge from when he was a bridge officer with Delaware River Joint Toll Commission and pictures made by the precious little hands of my children, his 3 grandchildren. With everything we placed with him we placed our love and tears. I dressed him in his favorite pair of jeans and cozy long sleeved shirt and his favorite white sneakers! He looked so handsome... I always told him that the cancer never stole his good looks or his hair! That always made him smile!
Christmas was hard... I can't explain the emptiness I have inside me now and I can only pray that time will heal some of my open wounds. I miss him so much and there hasn't been a day since we lost him that I haven't thought about him!
I also pray that 2012 will bring me and my family a better year... No more sickness, no more hospitals and no more pain! I know that my grief will come in waves and I am willing to let the tears flow as they come... I plan to love and cherish my children and husband everyday and thank God for each morning that I get to wake up to their beautiful, smiling faces! And I will always know that I have a loving and wonderful angel that will look over me and my family everyday for the rest of our lives!!
I miss you Daddy.... I have always loved you and I always will!
"Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep,
I am in the thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush
I am in the grateful rush, Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine at night,
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry, I am not there, I do not die!"
"God saw you getting tired and a cure was not to be
So he wrapped his arms around you and whispered
Come with me...
A Golden heart stopped beating
Hardworking hands laid to rest
God broke our hearts to prove to us,
That he only takes the best!"